literature

The Field Where Love Bloomed (Home)

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Orihara-San's avatar
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Literature Text

I open my eyes to this stark nothingness. The grey sky a mirror of my heart. This place once the holder of my hopes, my dreams, is now a foreboding prison cell for which I carelessly loose myself. The days have blurred into endless hours, countless days for which my sanity hangs by the sheer will of my instincts. I am without thought in this place. I am without the love which blooms so openly in the fields of people of my home. I sit in restless, hopeless, oblivion where nothing more than the grey sky provides my clear sight unto this unfamiliar hell.

I have given all I could to bring myself from the depths of memory. Tossing myself into the sea of forget. I have run for no reason. I had not thought this through. Why do I remain here sentenced? I never see this microcosm of the world within these cold forests of humanity. I do not see what good, though little there is, remains in this shadowed place. I remain, where my hope once sprang forth like molten rock of the Earth. I remain within the cold forest, the volcano dormant. The winds holding the fear & hate which whisper through the very essence of this place.

The very shadow of my soul itself has fled me. I am with reckless abandon demanding that I am removed. Restored. Brought back to the fields of love. Back to the home which I had been so eager to forget. These cursed voices which had wrapped me within their words as though it were furs against a winter chill. Only to remove, piece by piece, the fragments of my resolve and composure. I am but a fraction of the man I had once been. A shadow, more akin to a ghost than man. Weak, absent one whose eyes reflect no more of the youth they once retained. Truth of age is painful, forgive me, forgive myself!

With heavy heart I rest against the mortared words of their tender deceit. My once quickened heart echoes as hollow as a tomb. Each dull thud a reminder of my naivety, my foolishness and my once forgotten joys. I will remain in this cell, until such time as I have learned from my mistake. Been forgiven by those I’ve abandoned, and learn faith in those who have not abandoned me. As each day blurs from hour to hour, day to day, I will recall the fields of love bloomed. I will reflect with love on all who love. I will wait in baited breath for my return. Home.
I have been going through a lot of things, still damned homesick, and I ended up waking up and instantly writing this. I haven't written in this old writing style for a long time. I hope it's not too hard to read. I wrote it as a form of self reflection. I hope you enjoy.
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Orihara-San's avatar
Thank you very much!